Collecting Nicknames T-Shirts

"Which of you is 'Cactus Jack'?"

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'Good morning pumpkin.' 'Good morning treasure.' A pile of treasure saying 'good morning' to a pumpkin

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

'We started wearing name tags to rell who's who, unfortunately we all like the name 'Kevin,!'

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

'For the sake of convenience everybody just calls me Joe.'

"Nobody loved little William Poopy-Pants."

'He's called that, because he keeps getting licked.'

'This convention lacks just one thing...name tags.'

'Name tag's up here, Ma'am - I'm from the Cattlemen's Delegation.

"Well, well, well! Your parents certainly messed up when they named you, didn't they, Angelo?"

'How come it's always me who has his name taken?'

Cinnamon Raisin Swirl Jones.

'"Silent killer'?! That's your nickname? That's so cool Dad!"

"See why I hate my nickname 'Toad Stool'?"

'...call me 'Noisy Ted'.'

Tombstones with convention name tags

"I'm having an identity crisis. I can't keep track of whether I'm Nana, Mimi, or Grandma Wolcott."

"Not only am I a 'good boy'...but, according to my owner, I'm also a 'sweetie-weetums.'"

'I've recently discovered that there's never been a hurricane named after me. See to it that the next one is.'

"White Rabbit, Cottontail and Mr. Fluffy. Why the code names?"

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

"My first pet was called Brian, and my mother's maiden name was Smith. . . see, even my porn name is boring."

How to appear more interesting.

"I name this child, Lovely, swampy, cars are evil, use public transport, stop the bypass,no to the link road, Fred"