Nickname Collecting T-Shirts

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

'Good morning pumpkin.' 'Good morning treasure.' A pile of treasure saying 'good morning' to a pumpkin

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'We started wearing name tags to rell who's who, unfortunately we all like the name 'Kevin,!'

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

'Who else have I written for? Ridge Park Avenue, 7th Street, Elm Road, Thornwood Drive...'

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

"Nobody loved little William Poopy-Pants."

'He's called that, because he keeps getting licked.'

Mr Long and Miss Short.

'This convention lacks just one thing...name tags.'

'Name tag's up here, Ma'am - I'm from the Cattlemen's Delegation.

Cinnamon Raisin Swirl Jones.

"Well, well, well! Your parents certainly messed up when they named you, didn't they, Angelo?"

'How come it's always me who has his name taken?'

"Alan Orange"? Seriously, your name is "Al Orange"?

'...call me 'Noisy Ted'.'

"How am I meant to be a lean mean killing machine with a name like 'Twinky'!"

"Poor kid, being lumbered with a name like Kevin. What's wrong with something ordinary like Zain or Kayan?"

"I'm having an identity crisis. I can't keep track of whether I'm Nana, Mimi, or Grandma Wolcott."

Tombstones with convention name tags

Regrettable names which probably seemed like a good idea at the time - Rainbow Moon-Child, Anarchy Scum Bag, Freemarket Share-Option, Tony.

'Hang on a minute, haven't we already got a Tracey?'

'Are you willing to change your name to Bob Smith?'

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

'I've recently discovered that there's never been a hurricane named after me. See to it that the next one is.'

"I name this child, Lovely, swampy, cars are evil, use public transport, stop the bypass,no to the link road, Fred"

'Book of Usernames' / 'Book of Baby Names'.