Nick Knack Enthusiast Pillows

"Hi honey, do we need anything for the junk drawer?"

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'I hate all holidays!'

"This blood knot ought to be re-named the blood, sweat and tears knot."

Scuba: 'You call that a knot, now this is a knot.'

'People have been known to lose an eye when a wink goes seriously wrong.'

"He'd make a wonderful main character for a short story, but I wouldn't put up with him for an entire novel."

'Help!'

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

'Honey, it's your worms of the month delivery!'

My Musical Influences

"Who's there?" "Who's askin'!?"

Michel de Montaigne

"Since when did my opinions become 'riffs'?"

From 'Theory of Knots': Thumb Knot, Spanish Bowline and Double-knotted shoelace which is impossible to open.

'Today we learned how to make knots!'

Know Your Knots!

"Every complaint should be seen as a learning opportunity, today you’re going to learn where to hide them."

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."

"You can't put a price on all those years of marriage." "Au contraire!"

Poet and Peasant

"We won't lose any more socks in the laundry...I knotted them all together."

'You love anything tacky, don't you?'

"The difference between criminal geniuses and politicians is none of them are geniuses."

'Ok, Ok. We'll run through it one more time. The rabbit pops up, goes around the tree ....'