Niche Narrative Seeker Pillows

"I'm sorry-you tapped into something no one cares about."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

'What clan do you belong to?'

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

Crap from the future.

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Useless add-ons.

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

Fish evolving: 'Write, if you establish a niche.'

Mohammad's motors

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.

Goldie Locks and the three beers.

Toenail clipping missile.

Clock and Watch Shop: Second-Hand Clocks and Minute-Hand Clocks.

BOOKS ON VIDEO/BOOKS ON TAPE/READ YOUR OWN.

Scrooge is visited by the ghost of prehistoric past.

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

"I'm after the history section."

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'