Niche Narrative Seeker Gifts

"I'm sorry-you tapped into something no one cares about."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Victor Hugo

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'What clan do you belong to?'

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

Crap from the future.

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Useless add-ons.

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

Fish evolving: 'Write, if you establish a niche.'

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

Mohammad's motors

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

"I'm after the history section."

Scrooge is visited by the ghost of prehistoric past.

Toenail clipping missile.

Goldie Locks and the three beers.

BOOKS ON VIDEO/BOOKS ON TAPE/READ YOUR OWN.

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.