Narrative Seeker Pillows

"Look, making you happy is out of the question, but I can give you a compelling narrative for your misery."

"It was a day EXACTLY like every other day."

"You'd like a book on the meaning of life...fiction or nonfiction?"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

'What clan do you belong to?'

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

Crap from the future.

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Useless add-ons.

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

'I'm not being punished! I'm reading because I happen to enjoy reading!'

Cash Machines From Across the Land

Blue Stockings

The Dragon with the Girl Tattoo.

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

Mohammad's motors

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

Kid to boy in library: 'Oh, we came at the busiest part of the day ... it's a reading frenzy.'