Newtonian Thinker Gifts

Isaac Newton without the Apple Tree.

Newton's Law and Order.

Intelligent people laugh too!

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

"How is it gendered?"

"Every now and then, I find myself in a room filled with people who are wrong."

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

Vote Progressive: 'It's not the rich, it's people trying to get rich who create new jobs!'

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

'Remember the old days, when all of this was phallocentric?'

Republicans Refuse To Raise The Glass Ceilings

"Don't worry, Emily. . . I'm woke and you're woke, so I'm sure our baby will turn out woke!"

Dear (some of) my fellow lefties. . . shut up and get the hell off my side.

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

'Corporations Sitting on a Mountain of Cash, and they're not Hiring!'

"Well, we've finally miniaturized this device as much as is practical. Time to make it big again."

'In a five to four decision today, the Supreme Court picked social justice over regular justice.'

Monkey dropping apples on Newton's head.

"I'll bet that in a few years, gender won't be a wedge issue like it is today!"

"Whatever happened to traditional marriages? There they are...on national television...with millions of people watching...two women getting married! And they're both wearing blue jeans!"

"We've concluded that an alarming percentage of the population are experiencing involuntary eye-rolling at the word 'inclusion'."

"He's a very alternative vicar - he's installed wind chimes.'

"And what if we don’t feel like being herded?"

"I guess "heterosexual backwoodsmen" doesn't have the same ring to it."

The high jump before Sir Isaac Newton discovered gravity.

Randi Rhodes

"It's very sensitive of you to realize that men like to get flowers!"

'Your cat seems to have thought outside the box, Mr. Schrodinger.'