Newtonian Nostalgist Gifts

"What an ego! One day it's Newton's laws of dynamics, then it's Newton's theory of gravitation..."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Letter Collecting Nerd

'AAAARGH!...Get it off! Whatever the hell it is...Get it off!'

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

Kindergarten. Today; Simon Says. I don't know who this "Simon Says" is, but he could make a killing in product endorsements!

How Grandma Sees the Remote

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

Newton's Law and Order.

The Last Non E-Book In The World.

'Remember the good old days when the research department consisted of some studious types with a stack of annual reports?'

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

"I enjoy books a lot more now that I can consistently color inside the lines."

"It's a sad state of affairs when Lever House begins to seem like a warm old friend."

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

If you give a mouse a french cookie

I love the way barbecues take you back to nature.

'If only Darwin could have seen this!'

"Gentlemen, on my signal, walk ten paces, turn around, and try to remember why you came out here."

The King In The Rain.

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

'Someday, when our pre-frontal cortexes are fully developed, we'll look back on this and shake our heads.'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

I suppose industrial pollution is the price of progress, but I still miss that old world atmosphere.

"Big choices today Mr. retired board of directors. 2 ply or 3 ply?"

"This is the coldest winter I can remember."

"I worry about today's kids, all they want to do is sit in the cave and stare at the fire."

When he was 16, Ed's dad gave him his choice between a car and a computer. Now he sits, busted down, far from the edge of the info superhighway!

Golden Oldies: "Hey! Remember this great chart from the nineties?"

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'