Newspaper Nerd Gifts

Fear of news.

'Hey look I got a free newspaper with my wallchart of north sea molluscs aand DVD of elbow stretching excercises.'

Newspaper reads: Which is correct? Su-dock-oo; Su-doo-koo; Su-doe-ku.'

'Why can't you have inner demons like everyone else?'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'I'm suing for libel! You've down graded me from being a reliable source to being just a confidential source.'

"I thought it would be difficult to paper train a dog, but Spot made a remarkable adjustment!"

"Can I sit on your newspaper when you're finished with it?"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

First Novels.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

John Bunyan

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

The Age of Reptiles. . .

WiFi Signals

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

Jack London

Moby Dick

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

''Animal Farm' by George Orwell is definitely my favourite book...'

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

Pregnant Panda at Edinburgh Zoo: 'Congratulations, Wilkinshaw...'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"I'm afraid you need knee surgery."

'If only Darwin could have seen this.'

The real reason why flamingos are pink

Addicted to reading

'I would love to be more energetic, but there is nothing I can do: It's a genetic condition...'