News Nerd Gifts

Sociologists on Strike! Nation in Peril!!

'Hey, that line's moving a lot faster!'

News: Who reports on the reporters?

"Now over to the weather desk for a detailed report."

'Goodness Frank, where did all the mud come from?' - 'Election campaigns.'

In case of fake news about a phony emergency ring false alarm.

'Please feel free to take me out of context.'

"Sorry Mr Brooks, but this article is too long. Nobody wants to read more than 140 characters anymore."

"It's just the government, dear..."

'My opponent proposes a new world order...I propose to keep us at the top of the food chain.'

'In Washington, today, an unidentified source made an unattributable statement which under the agreed ground rules is not to be quoted.'

Panama Papers Scandal

US Election 2016

"It ain't over until NPR says it's over!"

"To answer your question, we may or may not be trying to have it both ways."

"This is not good at all!"

Covid Response: Molluscstation

'I love the crawl line.'

"D'you have any porn porn?"

We can't hear you! We can't see you! We can't hear you!

President Obama riffs

Apres Brexit

"I have good news and bad news. The good news - the economy is getting better...gas prices are still going down, more Americans have healthcare...the bad news - the Republican Congress has a problem with that."

"Be careful! Watch for crazy drivers! Don't go anywhere alone! And don't take candy from strangers!"

The No-News-Is-Good-News Gazette

Strong Winds

Jacqueline Alemany

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

"Why bother? It's an election year."

'Trading was active in rumors, today...'

The Gagged United Nations

"You wanted a 'useful idiot' so we gave you Trump. . . what's the problem?"

'See - Britain is not going down the tubes.' (London under-ground strike.)

"Thank you, Mr. President. . . now that we've heard the state of the union, let us hear the state of the house. . ."

Ceci n'est pas un journal censur