News Writing Gifts

Editor says to journalist: 'I'm looking for a reporter who is imaginative. I did just say 'investigative', didn't I?'

Journalist in jail

NBS NEWS, 'Take this editoria, Miss Whimby, and disguise it as a news story.'

Squeezing the Free Press.

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Man Reading Laptop.

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

2020 Swiss barmy knife

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

Journalism student ponders which course he wants to major in.

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

BREAKING FAKE NEWS

"We end our Newscast with a happy story tonight."

As you can see, media coverage at this event is very heavy...

'Mixed day on Wall Street. Economic indicators were up, but executive bonuses were down.'

'Of students surveyed, 64% prefer English and 32% prefer math. The fact that these numbers do not add up to 100 may help explain why.'

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

'Here's the name of my cosmetic brain surgeon. He make you look smarter.'

"And in what could be the biggest development for Hispanics in the history of the United States...hold it...I've just been told Hispanic Heritage Month is officially over. When we come back...hidden cameras in bathrooms! Only on the news at 5!"

'Vote for me because my Super PAC raised lots more money than my opponent's Super PAC.'

"Did you know that the average mainstream news portal devotes more space to the oscar in a day than to climate change coverage in the entire year?"

'Here's our business editor to talk s**t to us for five minutes'

Who Are You Going to Believe, Us Or Your Lying Eyes and Ears?

"In a move sure to revolutionize the industry, Lincoln Middle School is using Halloween candy energy levels to offset costs in November, December and January."

Today, tech stocks rose on news the latest gadgets avoided internet censorship by the Iranian government.'

'War protestor': 'Oh no! Not this again...'

Flake News