News Tailor Pillows

'Interactive TV news.'

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Squeezing the Free Press.

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Trump pardons

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

UK border controls relaxed.

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

Dressed for Success!

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Difference of Opinion

Meet the Enemy

"We won!"

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

CIA report

A little bird told me...

Loan Alley

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'