News Pillows

"Alexa, what fresh hell are we in for today?"

Difference of Opinion

Sociologists on Strike! Nation in Peril!!

Misinformation Pandemic

"Today, stocks dropped on news the new federal reserve chief, Janet Yellen, is a 'rookie'."

"Nation-wise, we're in a pickle."

"A tiny speck of hope!"

"I can hear the nattering nabobs of negativity now."

"Wait – how many seasons is this?"

The Best of Times/The Worst of Times

'I don't understand your question. Could you restate it as an answer?'

Strictly off the record.

'It says here that most people believe what they read in the papers.'

'Hey, that line's moving a lot faster!'

The News Cycle

Information vs. Opinion Desks

5 day forecast.

"And, in a move sure to attract the attention of regulators, the private sector made a bid to acquire the public sector."

'Do you want to be manipulated by the left wing media or the right wing media?'

Phoney world view

"No comment for now, but there'll be a press leak at five."

"Our top story: bloody conflict, secret meeting, auto recall, drive-by shooting, more staff cuts, medical breakthrough. We'll be back as soon as we decide."

'When you take out food, energy...inflation remained at a 20 year low.'

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

'We do want to warn you that this news has yet to be spun, so you may have to formulate your own opinion.'

"We hope you've enjoyed the year in review!"

'Responding to viewer sentiment, we have eliminated world news and expanded our entertainment and sports news.'

'That was close! I almost answered a question I was asked.'

'Sleaze, please.'

North American Newspaper Industry.

Good evening. Tonight's broadcast will be to the point. Everything's horrible. Good night.

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

Sign says Daily News: Read it for free online: Journalists wonder 'Where did it all go wrong?'

Funny how it's only the people I disagree with who are biased.

Newpaper reads: Cable Out - 1000s forced to read.