News Savant Pillows

"Oh, don't be alarmed...I'm just using this terrible situation to get my Muslim travel ban through the Supreme Court!"

TV-Man

Giraffe Selfie

Where was I?

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

Early Learning Today

"#notguilty."

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

"I sense a lot more going on with you than 'house-husband."

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

Latest Greatest Fastest Computer...versus Good Enough.

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

'That's where they keep all the money I don't have anymore.'

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"You look a lot better on paper than you do online."

Social Media

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

"I'd like to get my withdrawal in either cryptocurrency or social-media exposure."

The Plasmas.

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

Bob soon began to hate his new anti-spam software.

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

A Court Reporter's Pocket Knife

'Computers' 'Hardware' 'Software'

Books: Bartlett's Familiar Retweets

Harold Pinterest