News Crew Gifts

Spitting during the speech

'We're here to talk to your son about his web site...'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Press Freedom

Working in the Hazard Zone!

Cut!

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

Local News in Heaven

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

As you can see, media coverage at this event is very heavy...

Hollywood producer.

BREAKING FAKE NEWS

News for Sale

So, Leo catches me, devours me...wears make up?"

News Headline Reads - 'Man Bites Feral Media'.

"And then I said, 'They're not Christians, they're Easter Worshippers!' Cause we can't say the 'C' word out. . ."

True Story Movie

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

"Sir, what is your position on the issue of banana control?"

"That was Brad with the Democratic weather. Now here's Tammy with the Republican weather."

'In today's action, the Dow Jones Industrial Average cratered, then soared, then swooned, then skyrocketed, then plummeted, then rebounded, and finally threw up.'

'The National Debt just sounds like it's a lot of money because it's such a large number.'

And here is the day's news that we are going shove down your throat.

"They say she's gone completely Sundance."

Two reporters interview each other.

Weather reporter feels guilty every time it rains.

Celebrity anagrams: Is a salt water rat (Answer: Alastair Stewart)

'Damn ! I don't have a clue where we are.'

"I understand your feelings, dear, but don't you think that Jane Pauley would just as soon see you keep your strength up?"