Newly Single Adventurer Pillows

'I always wondered what I'd do without your father and I found out I do quite well!'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"This will be hilarious!"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

"I'm sorry about all this. It's my animal magnetism."

"The cheek of him! At the end of the first date, he wanted me to go to his home to roost!"

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

The perfect man

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

"Your profile said that you liked long walks on the beach."

'Quite nice here, when the tide goes out.'

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

Napoleon marches off alone

"I thought on your profile it said you were into 'BIKING'."

Mate Mart

A man with a rake on a desert island

"I had half a date last weekend."

"If that girl sent over a double cappuccino, maybe you should go talk to her!"

Gwendolyn found herself deep in the Lake district,

Desert Planet

"She said don't forget the straw."

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

Russian Dating.

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'

Borrow the Bag?

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

"Is that 'good reptilian' or 'bad reptilian'?"