Newfoundland Owner Gifts

'That's what I said! My car was hit by this dog!'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Best Before 5th Pint.

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

Sale.

Bob thinks his new neighbor may be bad for business.

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

'I'll take it!'

"If there's any one lesson we've learned from the eighties, it's how to shop!"

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'I think there's been some mistake...'

Online Shopping.

The Cat's Alarm Clock

Honesty in retail

First past the post.

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

A bar selling 'crafty' beer is more popular than a bar selling 'craft' beer.

Falloon's Menswear. Where it's always brown trouser time.

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

A Lady Out Shopping.

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

'It's something to do with a Microsoft copyright infringement.'

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

Brewery Lorry has Saloon Doors.

'Why is the jacuzzi full of grapes?'

'Does any of your bread just have bread in it?'