Newborn Gift Pillows

"The floor is now open for discussion of what to name ou generation."

Lawyers Lullaby.

'Who killed Cock Robin?' 'Bird flu?'

Baby Bear.

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"His first out-of-body experience."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

baby sweetcorn...

Pool attached to child's bed.

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Late night teddy reading

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'The child is very illogical'

Swinging on a star.

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"They're so adorable at that age!"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

A mother and baby elephant

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'