Newborn Economist Gifts

'Once they're born they immediately begin to depreciate.'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

'This boy you call my son doesn't care about investments, economy and money. I want a DNA test.'

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

"So much for password protected."

Batman's Baby

"It failed the stress test."

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

'I've crunched the numbers and you can afford to increase my allowance by 15.5%.'

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

"It's a good boy!"

Mime Baby

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

"The treasury has hacked into his computer and asked for ideas to solve the deficit"

"No, they didn't live happily ever after, but they fared pretty well relative to every other miserable slop in the Dark Ages."

Maternity tattoos

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

'I can't afford to absorb the overhead anymore!'

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

"I think you should provide a 401(k) with my allowance."

"Triple whammy."