Child Economist Gifts

'We don't need our own stand. Just have your mom buy all the lemons at the store so we've cornered the market and can name our price!'

'Want to be my partner? I'm starting a mutual fund for kids.'

"My school day was mixed. Big gains in history class, English was flat, math declined by a quarter-grade, and I took a pounding at recess."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

'He had a meteoric rise to the top.'

Lemonade Inc.

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$1: Family Secrets

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

'This boy you call my son doesn't care about investments, economy and money. I want a DNA test.'

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

"So much for password protected."

"It failed the stress test."

'I've crunched the numbers and you can afford to increase my allowance by 15.5%.'

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

"The treasury has hacked into his computer and asked for ideas to solve the deficit"

'I can't afford to absorb the overhead anymore!'

"No, Dad. All this belongs to me right now. I acquired it in a hostile takeover."

I'd like to request a transfer to a household offering a higher allowance and fewer choices.

"I think you should provide a 401(k) with my allowance."

'...but if daddy raised your allowance he'd be hurting the economy by stimulating inflation. You wouldn't want him to do that, would you?'

'I hardly expected the federal tapering affect my allowance.'

"My assets consist of a piggy bank, 2 teeth for the tooth fairy, and whatever change I find in the living room sofa."

'I got that, Ms. Rafferty... now can we get on to student loans?'

"I'll look into it, but you're still in the first grade. Normally, they don't give student loans until you're in college."