Schoolyard Economist Gifts

'Seriously, dad, you can't expect an A level performance on a D level allowance!'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

'This boy you call my son doesn't care about investments, economy and money. I want a DNA test.'

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

"So much for password protected."

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"It failed the stress test."

Will eat your homework for $.

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

'I've crunched the numbers and you can afford to increase my allowance by 15.5%.'

"The treasury has hacked into his computer and asked for ideas to solve the deficit"

"I'm tardy? Whew! I was afraid I was going to be late for school!"

'I can't afford to absorb the overhead anymore!'

I'd like to request a transfer to a household offering a higher allowance and fewer choices.

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

'I suppose if we had some money we could buy sand from each other.'

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

"I think you should provide a 401(k) with my allowance."

'...but if daddy raised your allowance he'd be hurting the economy by stimulating inflation. You wouldn't want him to do that, would you?'

'I hardly expected the federal tapering affect my allowance.'

"My assets consist of a piggy bank, 2 teeth for the tooth fairy, and whatever change I find in the living room sofa."