Newborn Economist Pillows

'Once they're born they immediately begin to depreciate.'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

'This boy you call my son doesn't care about investments, economy and money. I want a DNA test.'

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

"So much for password protected."

"It failed the stress test."

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

Mime Baby

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

'I've crunched the numbers and you can afford to increase my allowance by 15.5%.'

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

"The treasury has hacked into his computer and asked for ideas to solve the deficit"

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

"No, they didn't live happily ever after, but they fared pretty well relative to every other miserable slop in the Dark Ages."

Maternity tattoos

'I can't afford to absorb the overhead anymore!'

"I think you should provide a 401(k) with my allowance."

I'd like to request a transfer to a household offering a higher allowance and fewer choices.

"Triple whammy."

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'