Newborn Celebration Gifts

"Ye-e-es. Yes, you could. You could grow up to be the president of the condo association."

Newborn bird sees tortoise and starts wearing shell.

Stork flies past with baby and notice saying 'baby on board' as hearse drives past with notice saying 'body on board'.

"I'm so pleased they named you Name and not Names. I can never remember names."

"I didn't know what to give him, so I brought some myrrh."

"OK, let's double check: mine goes to India while yours goes to Africa..."

'Turn everything off...we've sprung a leak!'

'I wouldn't worry. At that age they put everything in their mouths.'

'Your stork story got me to thinking, Dad -- wouldn't it be simpler if people just did it like dogs and cats do?'

Mobile Phone Mobile.

Rocking horse.

Freak Family - please don't be looking at me...

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

'He has his father's feet.'

'I don't care if it would balance the budget — we are not selling his naming rights!'

Twenty-first century baby walker

Bill's alarm clocks were going off early today.

"Jack is becoming tough, adventurous, and independent. I put it down to my throwing him out with the bathwater."

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

Baby on board.

"And these are the twins, Buzz and Buzz-off."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

baby sweetcorn...

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

Pool attached to child's bed.

Late night teddy reading

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Swinging on a star.