Newbie Educator Gifts

"So, how did your first day go at teaching grade school?"

A Puppet Named Juan

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Hate Platforms

Opportunities in Coronatimes

"You're fired."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Lynching on social media

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

Ethics exam cheater.

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

At the Museum

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

Fear/Knowledge

Campaign for Plain English

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

I will study my speling words...