New Office Job Gifts

"I think I see the problem! If I could just read this tiny print, I think it says...'Do not touch this. Could cause toner cartridge to explode'."

'You're hopeful - worrying about what underwear to wear for the office party!'

'It's a nice place to work ... with the right medications.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

Where your mind & battle are los

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'Let's not go by the book.'

Butterfly Woman

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'How fast can you hype?'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

Others will fight for you

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

Outer Space Outsourcing

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Work/Life Balance