New Office Job T-Shirts

'You're hopeful - worrying about what underwear to wear for the office party!'

'It's a nice place to work ... with the right medications.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

Where your mind & battle are los

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

'Let's not go by the book.'

Butterfly Woman

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'How fast can you hype?'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

Others will fight for you

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

Work/Life Balance

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

Outer Space Outsourcing

Bo're'droom

Woman carries the world.

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'