First Office Job T-Shirts

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'What a drive! Our boy's going to go a long, long way.'

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

Pajama Day 743

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

A very young man being hired as a groom.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

'I don't know what he does, but I'm afraid to ask.'

'You're hopeful - worrying about what underwear to wear for the office party!'

"And this is my junior partner, my son, Ira."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

'I took a couple of years off after college to work on my smirk.'

The Paper Route

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

"That's nice, but do you have any references other than your Mom?"

'It's hard to believe this is just an atrium.'

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

Responsibility and duties

'In order to fund your deferred compensation, we won't be paying you any salary.'

"Here's a manual of our rules and a CD that covers our unwritten rules.

'We're looking for someone who is willing to just do their job.'

'Why not take some time off after high school...travel a bit...get a job...make some money...pay your own way through college.'

Boy in toy car talking on phone.

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

'You may feel lost and insignificant at first working for us.'