New Job T-Shirts

'He's done well considering he was just a part-time summer intern.'

'I don't get it...after all the budget cuts to streamline the work force, why aren't we moving faster.'

A Day In The Kitchen

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

This is Pandora, our new Content Manager.

Urine Catcher

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

"Oh dear did we neglect to read the contract thoroughly?"

'When I asked if you were flexible, Mrs. Harkness, I was asking about your hours!'

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

Someone who knows apostrophes

"The bunny did not get the job because the bunny is cute. The bunny got the job because the bunny knows WordPerfect."

'My ability to adapt is the key to my success.'

'We're looking for impartial people who think the way we do.'

'Welcome aboard, Peterson. I understand we're going to be working together!'

'Besides a great smile, do you have any other qualifications we could consider?'

'Same here, we have a female C.E.O., too.'

'We like your zip-a-dee. You need to work on your dooh-dah.'

Presentation skills.

Bo're'droom

"What the hell? We could use an idiot."

"Big day, Haskins. The training wheels come off.",

"So that is unanimous then - nobody has a clue what to do."

Over enthusiastic headhunter

'Oh, a drug test. That's a relief. I thought you were going to test my ethics.'

'I've been disorientated since my employee orientation program.'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

"I'm right here. Focused!"

You are more than your job description.

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

'Your job description is fairly simple: Stay in your cubicle and try not to make things worse.'

"I'm glad to hear you're finally fitting in." (Man has sign saying 'Kick me off the team' attached to his back).

'This test has nothing to do with psychological profiling, we just need to make sure we're not hiring an idiot.'

'First time working on a government ship?'

A businesswoman's desk breaks under the weight of the 'in' pile