New Grandparent Gifts

'I think I've just made a terrible mistake.'

A turtle rocks a baby turtle in her shell.

'For a small commission I could put those under my pillow.'

"My grandchild deserves a good stroller, but this thing costs more than my first car!"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

City Zoo: Day Care

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Bond James, Bond."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Skipping Horse

The Busy Gardener

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Computer Room.

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

At the Museum

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"