Grandparents-to-be Gifts

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

"Amazing. For the fifth consecutive month the polling shows I'm the most popular foetus here."

"This could be quite boring. No club jumper, no theme song and no pie nights!"

Grandparents Anonymous

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"Feel free to take notes."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'I must be reaching that age! I can't get my ozone layer up anymore!'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

In the DNA Kitchen

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"They look so young and helpless."

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

"You're supposed to grow a lot of little ones."