Becoming A Grandparent Gifts

'When we were young we used to dress like our parents - these days parents dress like their children!'

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

'We need nappies for you and nappies for me.'

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

'I'm having a private showing over on my grandma's refrigerator next week.'

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'Oh crap, it's my mother.'

'Thanks, kids. . . it's just what Grandpa wanted. . . the new remastered Rolling Stones retrospective.'

"Not so fast. I want to be called 'Nana'."

"Feel free to take notes."

Grandma

MOTHER & TODDLER GROUP

"Oh, I almost forgot, how's your new grandson?"

Old man

Best Places to Retire

'I must be reaching that age! I can't get my ozone layer up anymore!'

'Look, dear. Her first opinion.'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"I may be getting older, but my mind is still as sharp as a...umm...one of those little pointy things!"

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

'It's great, they sleep most of the time: I can do whatever I want!'

A new generation.

'So Grandma, you lived in the B.C. days, 'before color'?'

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

"Hey Dad, I got a girl in trouble!"

'The brown one that smells like an old man.'

Milk sideburns

'This whole 'grandparent' thing -- it's our parents and children conspiring against us!'

"Now that the kids and grandkids are grown I can get back to more erotic embroidery."

"Mom, please take her and teach her morals, manners, and chores."

"Oh, Granddad's home movies are pretty boring, but the crazy machine he uses is awesome!"

'I'm too old to be a grandfather!'

"She used to just be a mom, but when I was born she was promoted to grandma."

'Now that the kids have grown up and have tadpoles of their own I often find myself wondering what I'm going to do with the rest of my life.'