New Gadget Owner Gifts

"Your mission number one, should you choose to take it, is to seek and destroy the new laptop"

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'Hey...remember T.V.?

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

"I got a swiss army hook!"

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

"Careful. That house has a taser."

'This is suppose to be progress.'

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"Isn't there an app for this?"

"This isn't Dublin. It's not even Ireland. Repeat after me, dear: 'I'll never buy a second-hand sat nav as a bargain again.'"

'You just couldn't wait to try out the new Jet Ski before we got up to the lake, could you?'

Minion, I've noticed several of the patrons are working on their laptops, tablets and phones. Yeah, that's what people do in cafes, boss. Are you aware, minion, that states and municipalities regularly tax people who conduct business within their borders? I don't see why the state should have a monopoly on taxation. Do you, minion? Inform the patrons they've missed the cafe's April 15th filing deadline, so there will be penalties. If the government can be "We the People," Armstrong Maynard can b

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

It tells you the time? That's all it does? Well, isn't that just the cutest little thing?

"You'll have to excuse my Stuart. He's just showing off his new drill.

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

Robot surgery.

"Making us more mobile friendly didn't mean letting the general public use our car park, Smithers."

"It's the new self-driving model."

"Their technological toys are nothing compared to the power of the supply side."

"Home is where the WiFi is."

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

"We've made significant progress in T-shirt cannon technology."

"Life is so much easier since I brought the XL Robovax for Clive."

Automatic swing machine

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

'I'm being punished. Nothing even remotely electronic for two weeks.'