New Coaching Position Gifts

"As the new head coach, my first move will be to blow up the entire roster."

A Puppet Named Juan

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

I like the Jets...I guess

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Reach for the Star.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"I hate performance review season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

The trauma of losing.

Go! Means NOW!

Time Is Money

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

Back to school.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

A married couple share the same pole vault.

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

A Hard Look At Hard Looks