New Management Position Gifts

Under new Womanagement.

"He's got great leadership skills. Wherever he's taking us, it's got to be better than where we've been."

"Don't think of me as your new boss. . . think of me as one of the guys who can fire you."

A Puppet Named Juan

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Manager. . . Commander. . . Chieftain. . . King!'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

Welcome to the Team

Leadership suits you

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

'At Tesmer holdings, we don't break the rules! We change them!'

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

Unto thee shall pass the executive laser pointer. Take this authority and delegate it.

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

"It's all a matter of planning...."

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

Office meeting

Under new blame.

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

The role of administration.

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

The little engine that could delegate.

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

'Leadership training.'

"To make things more democratic, I've decided to introduce a round-table policy."

"As the new head coach, my first move will be to blow up the entire roster."

'Good new. . . we're moving you to a bigger desk!'

"I don't want to insult your intelligence - I imagine that happens enough as it is."

The little engine that delegated