New Boat Christening Gifts

"I've been sentenced to christen a ship."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

Early Piety

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

Baby Playing Violin

The rain has been falling for so long the animals are pairing up and forming queues by the boat! It must be time for the Crick boat show...

Lighthouse Beam.

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

'It makes baptisms a lot more fun for everyone.'

"Call him Koffee- he keeps us awake!"

Baptism Then and Now

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

"They have to clean her up before they show her to God."

"Sinead?!"

". . . and what is the user name of this child?"

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

The Christening Party

"Yo! You check the pH lately? I have sensitive eyes, ya know."

At Michawl Phelps' baptism.

'It's a nice font but before deciding we'd really like to see your font library.'

'You're talking three million, ballpark

"Just a moment, please. I would like my mother's maiden name included."

'This is your idea of converting your boat to a sailboat, a sheet? And while we're on the topic, is that one of my good sheets?'

Baptism - "Actually he's quite looking forward to it."

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'Don't over-think it, just go with the moment...ok, maybe a little thinking...'

'We'd like to christen him 2GR4T7VXS35. That way it'll be easier for him to get his own web domain name when he's older.'

Testing the water temperature in the font.

Peace Negotiator now available for Weddings, Funerals, Christenings, Barmitzvah