Neurotic Giggler Pillows

'It looks like someone tried to pronounce 'Rorschach' with a mouthful of soup.'

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

'It was this big. I swear'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

Black Hole Corks

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

Ghosts save on electrical & plumbing maintenance costs because they don't need easy access to the inside of walls.

Ah-Choo!

'AAAAH! UDDER LEECH!'

"After analyzing the energy waves emitted by this pulsar near Andromeda, I believe we have an answer to the age old question: 'Where do jokes come from?'"

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

A Grumble Bee

Confession Ratings.

Astronaut with his Space Dog.

'Dicing with Death'

Medical Treatment.

"On what planet do you imagine this would be funny?"