Neurotic Giggler Pillows

'It looks like someone tried to pronounce 'Rorschach' with a mouthful of soup.'

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

Not you. Your hair.

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'It was this big. I swear'

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

Black Hole Corks

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

Pest control, with death.

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

Ghosts save on electrical & plumbing maintenance costs because they don't need easy access to the inside of walls.

Ah-Choo!

Confession Ratings.

'AAAAH! UDDER LEECH!'

"After analyzing the energy waves emitted by this pulsar near Andromeda, I believe we have an answer to the age old question: 'Where do jokes come from?'"

Astronaut with his Space Dog.

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

A Grumble Bee

'Dicing with Death'

'Which one's Ringo?'

"On what planet do you imagine this would be funny?"