Gray-haired Giggler Pillows

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

Clown God

Not you. Your hair.

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

'There goes the squeak in your brakes, Mrs. Ferguson.'

Swinging through the jungle.

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

Pest control, with death.

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

Black Hole Corks

'Whoops!'

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

The Electricians Giraffe Aid

Ghosts save on electrical & plumbing maintenance costs because they don't need easy access to the inside of walls.

"After analyzing the energy waves emitted by this pulsar near Andromeda, I believe we have an answer to the age old question: 'Where do jokes come from?'"

'AAAAH! UDDER LEECH!'

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'

Astronaut with his Space Dog.

'Dicing with Death'

When suddenly the clouds parted and down came Jeez, a god appalled by how his name is used in vain.

"He was a whistle blower but I was the only one who could hear it."

'Which one's Ringo?'