Genetic Giggler Pillows

"I think they've transplanted too many human genes into Fred."

Clown God

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

Moo! OOM!

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Nethead strip: Speak binary

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

"Let's see if I understand: your brain can't be upgraded with additional memory, and to make matters even worse, untold thousands of those brain cells die each day?"

'Henri! We found your sweatband!'

"What kind of mileage does it get?"

'Whoops!'

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

Black Hole Corks

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

"Hey Frank, how was your colonoscopy?" "In and out."

Ghosts save on electrical & plumbing maintenance costs because they don't need easy access to the inside of walls.