Network Advisor Gifts

HUAWEI 5G

Pounding speeds up the computer.

The Computer Bore

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

Networking

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

"I do tech support for the cloud."

Geek fairies

Computer monitor for a head.

Terry had a computer bug.

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'I don't understand. You've wasted the whole interview going on and on about what you know... I think you'd better start telling me who you know.'

Network Extending from Buttonhole

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

"Now the geeks hold all the power. They're the ones who know how to forge a parent's e-signature."

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

"Typical company, I'm the only woman!!"

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"I'm being heavily recruited by several other companies."

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

I work for a not for profit business. Mind you, two years ago it was a 'for profit' business.

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."