Net Worth Navigator Gifts

"Hold all calls, I'm taking a bath."

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"Your contents have shifted."

Bad for you but to die for

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

'I think you need to reboot your fiscal compass.'

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Homeless count.

"What are we doing wrong?"

Shrink

Adam and Eve - Food scares

'Drive 'em wild with the sweet scent of net profits exceeding forecasts due to higher gross margins and cost-cutting.'

"Eating junk food may make you feel young at heart, but it isn't making your heart feel young."

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

'They want to close our lab. What's that all about?'

"I used to be innocent. Then I was naive. Now I'm just dumb."

He's back from retirement as a consultant.

'Have you been eating right?'

'No pep, shaky, noisy, overheating. Right. Anything wrong with the car?'

"I'm starting a new diet today. Let's go out for ice cream to celebrate."

'Just give her a chance to cool down. It's probably hormonal.'

"What do you have that's rich in antioxidants?"

Overeaters anonymous meeting 9 to 10pm

it's his way of easing into full retirement.

Couple with confusing pamphlets

"I'm 'The Drunk Divorced Overweight Chain-Smoking Middle Aged Man.' 'The Wise Man' is on the next peak."

"Senator, according to this report you've been