Neighborhood Diplomat T-Shirts

"Gordon had a to-do with that new Italian family at number twenty-three this morning..."

"Your home keeps calling my home dumb. My home may not be smart, but at least it's not rude."

"Don't let him get to you. I'm sure there are lots of people you didn't invite."

A give-and-take relationship with your neighbour is essential to the full enjoyment of your garden.

Could I trouble you for a cup of petrol?

"We've got to get rid of them somehow. Offer them one of your home-made beers"

"I can't get to sleep for your stereo!"

'I told the neighbors we are planning to build a house next year, but they don't seem too happy about it.'

'Roger's a friend of the earth but not the next door neighbours !'

The Week-Long Party Catering Co.

'I shouldn't have criticized her potato salad.'

"Really, Dear. Wouldn't it be better just to return the tools you borrowed from him?"

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Israel/Palestine Conflict

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

'...It's O.K. hon', it's just the third world.'

EU

Cat and Broom

Militant Pacifists

Twice a year, Uncle Mort and Sadie Cohen have an official relationship talk. While this biannual conversation is scheduled by mutual consent under long-standing treaty, some participants engage grudgingly. Let's talk about our feelings. I don't feel like it. That's not a feeling, Snookums! Loophole!

Who posted the hilarious pics of you with the goofy haircut? Not sure. Someone who wants to humiliate me. One of the usual cyber bullies. No. Meaner. Hmm

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

'And I bet the same resolution principles would work in your neighborhood conflicts.'

More Excuses to Stay in Afghanistan

"Why did you start this war, you lousy, democracy-obsessed Nazi!"

'Heeheehee! My guests will love it!'

Liberia is left behind by a car guided by the 'Road Map To Peace'

'I think you got the drummer - Now try for the trumpet player!'

Juncker: He Had a Dream...

Rumors of war...rumors of peace.

'Our foreign policy is making me depressed. So let's just stick to screwing up our domestic policy.'