Negative Thinker Gifts

'You could say I'm a pessimist. The glass isn't just half-empty, it's not even what I wanted to drink in the first place.'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

Jean-Paul Sartre

Be Healthy

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Chiller Theatre

The Thought Process.

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

What the Thinker was thinking: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

Paul Ree

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

Zenemies.

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

Self-esteem room

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

"The overthinker"

10 Good Things about a Minnesota Winter.

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.