Negative Thinker T-Shirts

'You could say I'm a pessimist. The glass isn't just half-empty, it's not even what I wanted to drink in the first place.'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

Be Healthy

Jean-Paul Sartre

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

Chiller Theatre

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

The Thought Process.

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

What the Thinker was thinking: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Zenemies.

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

10 Good Things about a Minnesota Winter.

Self-esteem room

Paul Ree

"The overthinker"

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

Real Life/Surreal Life

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'