Negative Attitude Challenger Pillows

'What are you complaining about. My glass is only half-full too.'

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

"And do you, Courtney, take this man....Courtney!"

"I don't always fart when your friends are over. But when I do, I make sure I sneak out so they think it's you."

"Come on, Doc, one of us has to relax,"

'I'm sorry, but 'I'll see how I feel on the night' isn't really acceptable.'

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

When a nanosecond is forever.

"I said to him eventually, I said marriage is something you're just going to have to do on your own."

'I'm worried that my crippling anxiety is going to shorten my life.'

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'

"I'm feeling generous."

'Would it be more economical for them to develop their own comparable product, or steal the competition's formulae and fight it out in the courts?'

'Everything must go...manners included!'

'Could this mean that we're finally profitable?'

"What God has joined together let no man put asunder."

"Where do you see this country in five years?"

'Online dating is rubbish. I've written to 20 women and not ONE has replied.' 'At least you're being spurned in the comfort of your own home.'

'To show I'm serious about giving up smoking for new year, I'm going to sign this pledge.'

HOw the Cat WOund Up With Nine Lives.

"I know how some actors feel. I can't stand to watch myself on security camera tapes."

Bet You're Chicken!

"O.K., leave me, but just remember, if you do I'm coming with you."

"I'm not sure I can make it next week."

'I have to convince him it's not going to ruin his macho image if he bunts.'

"I'm sorry. I thought I'd cancelled my computer dating membership years ago!"

"I'm just saying there's no actual rule that we can't agree to a dive minute pee break."

'It's all in how you look at it -- try thinking of yourself as the world's tallest short guy.'

"The therapist helped Jack overcome his fear of commitment."

"I think next year things will really be different."

"Will you manage me?"

'Well, you do wonder don't you?'