Snob Challenger Pillows

'It's a remarkably accessible wine - £2.99 a bottle from Lidl.'

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

Alternative Medicine

The Mainstream

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

The simultaneous development of dining and pomposity.

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"

Foreclosed

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"I believe this is one of Rembrandt's earliest selfies."

A man without a chicken on his head!

'New money or old money?'

"C'mon dude, these are not your people."

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

"I am worthy of human kindness and care. I am worthy of human love and respect. I am worthy of huma rights and equality....or death to the f**king lot of 'em."

Business men line up at the police station

"Grandma, this is now how some schools say obey the rules."

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

"Since Rover became a therapy dog, he's gotten uppity."

'He's a mixed breed.'

Election

Ned Thompson, unpretentious wine taster.

" ..graduated with honours, great job, beautiful wife, great kids.. Sure we've all got a sad story to tell."

"Looks like mum's preparing to go on social media."

"It's a couch, not a settee, you posh git!"

"I've taken a vow of chastity with guys living in poverty."

"He drinks from the cup of a different brewer."

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

'Mumsie, Billy called me a snob... can I sue him?'

"I don't mean to be a snob, but I know what real leather sounds like."