Navy Admirer Gifts

Captain of ship, surrounded by rough drafts and scrunched-up pieces of paper, says: 'Dammit bosun, we can't set sail without a coherent mission statement.'

'Howard likes everything to be ship shaped.'

Repurposed Porpise: US Navy

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

'Do you think we can cuddle?'

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

The one that got away

Piracy on a boating lake

"Uh Ooh... Another tsunami hits the Ross Ice shelf!

Artifishial Intelligence

'I keep very close touch with the office in case things are running too smoothly without me.'

'we must be near the water because I see a sea gull.'

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

'Wow, this guy is DEEP.'

"Beds are not made for jumping on."

Easter Island Shades...

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

"It makes me want to pee."

Subwoofer

With Wally the hermit crab showing no signs of life, Shirley yields to her kids' pleas and performs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

COWMIKAZES

"I said, 'I'm not on duty! I just came back to get my flip-flops.'"

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

The unknown war poet.

SWAT Team (going in to catch a fly).

"Look at Ernie. He's so tipsy, he's walking face forward."

A Sandbar piles of sand in a bar enjoying their night out

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'