Navigator Of Life’s Chaos Gifts

'Martha, it's me...Please send out the kids to look for me.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Woman with kids at husbands office.

Stubborn Horse

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"Everyone says she has the clutter of someone twice her age."

Tired Barbie

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

Signs of Stress

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

A dream of consequence

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

'You got him here before the tardy bell, Mrs. Bates, but I'm not sure he's prepared to learn.'

Formula.

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

Careful

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

You can't focus on the cost of raising a child. True. They do have benefits. Mom! The glue spilled into your underwear drawer! Dad! Where's the toilet plunger? Though nothing specific leaps to mind.

Tax Department - Whammy/double whammy

Department to Control Government Growth - 'We need more room.'

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

Going to the pub with kids...

Married Life - Poet unable to write because of noisy children

"We'll have to pick this up later. My plane just went down, sharks ate my personal assistant, and apparently I'm winning some kind of surfing competition."

"Please wait while I load up software you'll never use and stick random icons all over the place."

"The therapeutic petting zoo creatures have calmed the office, but the cleaning crew is freaking out!"