Nature's Chaos Navigator Gifts

Leaf Blower.

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

"Admit it, we're lost."

Woman with kids at husbands office.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Stubborn Horse

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

Tired Barbie

"Everyone says she has the clutter of someone twice her age."

"Mom, can you come get me?"

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

Signs of Stress

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

A dream of consequence

Incorrect weather forecasts.

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

Having It All

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

'You got him here before the tardy bell, Mrs. Bates, but I'm not sure he's prepared to learn.'

Careful

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

Tax Department - Whammy/double whammy

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

Department to Control Government Growth - 'We need more room.'

Married Life - Poet unable to write because of noisy children

Going to the pub with kids...

"Don't worry. I'll be right back. I just need a little space."