Navigating Modern Romance Pillows

"If Neil could only be half the man he is in his texts..."

Right click for yes...

"I gotta be me!"

"Mr. Right!"

Online Dating

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

'After sex he checks his cell phone messages.'

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"You may now kiss the bride."

Technology and Love

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

Spooning

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

'Throw in your iPad and you've got a deal.'

"I'd love to spend more time with you, Jason, but you're not on my fall schedule."

"I was surprised myself, but living apart, seeing other people, and having virtually nothing to do with each other actually has made our marriage stronger."

'Darling, how romantic...a pre-nup.'

"I never turn into a prince on a first date."

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

'One question, Vicar. Is it bad luck to invite any of the other people we're sleeping with?'

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

'We don't text anymore.'

"I like what you've done with your apartment and your clothes."

Got suspicious after he asked to see a recent picture and she sent over an oil painting.

"This locket contains my very first username and password."

"Julie, are you live tweeting this!?"

Just think. We found each other because I used a google search for Mr. Right!

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

"I'm afraid you will have to sign a non-disclosure agreement."

"Look, all we did was sleep together. I saved watching 'Game of Thrones' for us."