Naughty Reveler Gifts

'Oh Santa, I really have been a naughty reindeer. Oh oh, whip me harder.'

You're the olive in my martini

'Just look at him- a fool and his money are soon partying!'

'I love rock festivals!'

Jenga!!!

"Well, if you must know, he makes me laugh."

House Plant Party

"200,000 other people have also highlighted this passage of the E-book, you common idiot."

I think we're alone now!

Should I be encouraged by your robe, your honor? No. It's just laundry day. Have a nice verdict.

Rudolph Gets Even - "Reindeer Games - Their seedy underground activities finally revealed."

"If men are from Mars and women are from Venus dogs must be from Pluto."

'zzz... nyarrrgh... fwa... ...ack... k... na...graa...' - '' - 'I just had the worst dream...' - '' - 'Oh, b***ocks.' - ''

1619: Valentine's Day

Spring Break!

Things-could-be-worse-go-round

'Father Christmas regrets to inform you that your application for presents has been unsuccessful on this occasion.'

"Please, Papi! Can I stay up 'til midnight?"

The Queen's Carriage.

'24 hour drinking has driven him to drink.'

"Happy National Pride Month."

Valentines

Happy Anniversary

A Book Review of the Phone Book: A hefty paperback with too many characters and not enough plot development. Next week, we'll review a more complex work--your phone bill.

'He's whooping it up again.'

'I'm confused!'

"Oh, nothing too exciting, Donna. I burned the toast last Wednesday, and on Saturday Jim split an infinitive. What's new with you?"

Readaholics Anonymous

"I'd like to stay up until midnight, but it's past my parents' bedtime."

"I never knew my psychic hotline business would be so busy!"

So glad you decided to come out!

'He's reached his limit with Government health advice.'

'Find out who got Santa the Slim-master 6000 and put them on the naughty list.'

'We're gonna have lovely hangovers in the morning!'

Holiday Cheers and Holiday Tears